l0ok!ng f0r a p0teNt!aL huSband

maybe you're looking to improve the one to whom you're married? Perhaps you're a husband looking to improve yourself? Regardless of your reason, wouldn't the following qualities be a good place to start?

1) Handy - Guys, are you handy - what is handy? Handy is when you take action to solve a problem, handy is when you change a light bulb without complaint, handy is when you take out the garbage (your idea, not hers). Wives like for their husbands to be handy - it's not hard, be part of the solution - not the problem.

2) Provision Oriented - Please don't get excited - this isn't about the husband making all the money. Its an attitude to help your wife fill in gaps. She can't do everything - so help her! Is she busy with the kids - give up 10 minutes of the ballgame and clean dishes, fold laundry, or whatever. You don't even need to be all that big of a help - you just need to show you're trying.

3) Humility - Nobody likes an arrogant man - there's no place for it in marriage. Show humility - when you're wrong - admit it and do so with humility. She'll probably be shocked and her reaction might be unpredictable - but inside she'll glow with admiration.

4) Adaptability - Guys, marriage is an ever changing world and you've got to adapt favorably to those changes or you'll find yourself wondering what you're doing and how you got there. If you look closely at your wife - filtering out years of environmentally induced behavioural changes - you'll see that glowing woman you fell in love with years ago. Let me explain further - my love and feelings toward my wife have not changed since the day we married. However, our relationship has changed as a necessity to those changes around us. Time constraints, needs of children, financial obligations, etc. each require a level of effort that takes time away from our relationship. No longer do we have the luxury of hours to spend alone together. You're success as a husband will largely be dependent on your attitude toward the adaptations required by life. Lastly, don't let the tail wag the dog - don't let your feelings toward life's changes affect feelings toward your wife - leave this to your heart.

5) Sensitivity - You can forget what you learned in high school - most women aren't looking for a husband who never cries. A sensitive husband perceives the needs of his wife and looks to meet them. Sensitivity toward your wife will open doors of communication and intimacy you never thought possible. Try it, get that chip off your shoulder and show her some sensitivity.

6) Faithfulness / Loyalty - Show her you're in it for the long haul (notice I said show her). How can you show someone you're faithful and loyal? Do you follow through with your commitments - however small they might be? Are you honest with your wife? Do you keep her up to date on your activities? Do you include her in your world? She's interested - show her it's not just about you - its about her as well and you'll reap the benefits of her security.

7) Good Listener - This might be the biggest challenge for husbands. You see, by nature, men are usually productive oriented and women are usually more relational. Men often make the mistake of trying to solve their wife's "problems". She doesn't want you to solve anything - she wants you to listen (really listen) and show her that you truly are interested in what she says. She wants you to feel what she feels and live what she lives. When you learn to truly listen to your wife and keep your mouth shut - your marriage will blossom.